NOOOOOOOOO!!!

My mother told me an anecdote about my much older sister. At seven years old my sister was so traumatized by summer camp that she:

With growing horror I recognized in that anecdote what had actually happened.

Other clues began to fall in place. I realized my twin sister had also been sexually abused by my father. With growing terror I told my therapist my sisters had been sexually abused. I was "forever vigilant" looking out for my twin's safety.

My therapist looked at me pointedly and said, "Cheryl, don't you mean you were vigilant looking out for yourself?" "Oh no," I replied. "He never did anything to me." My therapist looked deeply in my eyes and repeated, "Cheryl, don't you mean you were vigilant looking out for yourself?" Immediately a huge terror sprung from my torso into my throat, my face froze in wide eyed horror and out came a terrible screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!" I jumped into my husband's arms and just as quickly quieted down, laughing at myself, wondering where on earth that came from. My therapist quickly asked, "What happened?" I replied, "Nothing," the tears on my face contradicted my chuckling with embarrassment. "We're just talking about it too much." My husband and therapist exchanged significant looks. I hadn't even realized what I'd said.

My horrifying journey was just beginning.

Ancient Memories (Warning: graphic)

Cheryl Moore Barron

Incest Survivor