If the people in your life use fear, obligation and guilt to manipulate you, it's called emotional blackmail.
"Many people are either unwilling or unable to suffer the pain of giving up the outgrown which needs to be forsaken. Consequently they cling, often forever, to their old patterns of thinking and behaving, thus failing to negotiate any crisis, to truly grow up and to experience the joyful sense of rebirth that accompanies the successful transition into greater maturity." Scott Peck
"Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a happier and more productive person." Dr. David M. Burns]
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) Incest Survivors were a large part of my recovery. Here's the Las Vegas ACOA Incest Survivors materials.
I helped facilitate marathon grief
and rage self-help workshops. I thought I was going to die when I made the terribly difficult choices about my ex's family and my family. I walked around like a shell for several years, only putting one foot in front of the other, missing them terribly. It took me that long to discover I was someone with or without them. Author Peter McWilliams expresses a lot of my thoughts and feelings about my grief and the grief process in his book "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" that is online! I read his poems over and over again - they helped me tremendously to heal. I am so thrilled with Peter's generosity in putting all of his books online.
Through some years of agony, I finally learned to let go. This is a wonderful Gaelic blessing regarding my family.
A very beautiful and sophisticated survivor in CA used these simple ideas to release her rage.
"Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training." Anna Freud Here are some more creative ideas for recovery.
I helped facilitate a survivor's group to heal our sexual selves. A major part of recovery in this and other areas are boundaries. Do you know what they are? Here's an excellent article by a survivor regarding boundaries. Here's The Top 10 Ways To Set and Extend Boundaries.
If you have a problem going to the dentist, here's some things you and your dentist can do.
My friends noticed that when I was performing the dramatic reading of "Silent Scream" about remembering and recovering from incest, my 'silent scream' wasn't evident. If you need a place to find your voice or want more info, check out The Survivor's Page and VOICES.
"Time spent trying to control others is time wasted." They can send you 10 free cards for yourself and anyone in your life you feel may be thinking of suicide.
