07/17/2001
As I left for my first day of jury duty Fri, I picked up the delivered newspaper. My husband suggested I take it with me to read. I'm the only one in our family who reads the paper daily. I chose to leave the folded, rubberbanded newspaper by my chair for when I got home.
Given my history, you can imagine the kind of case I have the luck to draw. In Vegas or San Luis Obispo County if I spoke up from the beginning that I was an incest survivor, or that I arrested shoplifters for 3 years, poof, I'd be dismissed. To my surprise that wasn't happening here. Judge was excusing people for doctor's note, airplane tkts that can't be changed.
He asked if anyone read the front page of today's paper. A few had. The judge had us all leave the court, so judge and lawyers could grill the potential jurors. They were not dismissed. They joined us in the jury pool again.
He didn't ask up front if there were other reasons we should be dismissed from a rape case.
About 70 people were in the jury pool for this trial. They called up 18 people, the rest of us sat as audience. We were to pay attention in order to be prepared to answer the questions when it was our turn.
The judge asked if there was a reason you couldn't be objective as a juror in a rape case. Later he asked about if you knew police officers. Someone from the audience spoke up and asked for a sidebar. Judge, lawyers and juror spoke privately. He sat back down in the jury pool. I asked the bailiff if I could go ahead and tell the judge I have a history that might make it difficult for me to be objective in a sexual assault case. He said to wait until I was among the 18 in front of the judge cuz I may not even be called up there, and it wasn't necessary to take up the court's time now.
I watched and listened as one woman said it would be too upsetting for her to hear rape details. She fought back tears. I learned that the day before a jury pool had gone thru this primary process. The judge wasn't letting anyone go at just the mention of sexual assault history or law enforcement of any kind. I watched and listened feeling more apprehensive about what I was going to say when it was my turn. The judge and both lawyers good naturedly, but doggedly, grilled potential jurors.
Some were retired police officers, or worked with women who had been abused. They were grilled about bias toward judges, attorneys, policeman, DNA evidence, someone who's been charged with sexual assault, "Does that mean he's automatically guilty?" "Do you have family or friends who were convicted for crimes? What crime? Were you involved in bailing them out?" "Do you have family or friends who were victims of sexual assault? How were you involved? How did that make you feel?" "If you were an attorney, which would you choose to be? Prosecuting or defense. Why?" "If a woman's not crying while talking about the rape, does that mean she's not telling the truth?" "If a woman couldn't visually identify her assailant, could you convict based on other evidence?" If the only evidence was the woman visually identified her assailant, and you did believe her, and the judge said that was enuf to convict on, would you be able to convict? "If you were a mother with a baby, wouldn't you sleep with enuf awareness to wake up if there was noise?" "Have you ever had an apartment with heavy metal security doors? Do you hear them open and close?" "I don't knows" weren't an acceptable answer.
I went home that night crying. I didn't want a sexual assault case. I didn't want to be grilled. I didn't want to speak about my history when it wasn't my choice to speak about it. In my past jury duty I didn't have to think about the larger questions of bias and my civic duties as a juror. This experience was forcing me to think about larger issues, and forcing me to revisit my history.
I picked up the paper by my chair, saw the word rape, stashed it in my bedroom between my husband's shorts. I told my husband I couldn't read the front page of the paper. He read it. He was horrified. He demanded I get off this case in any way possible. Dress as tho going to the beach. Lie, exaggerate...whatever it took. He did not want me to go thru this.
He knows me better, but he still tries. I won't lie or exaggerate. I have an understanding of higher ideals - innocent til proven guilty, civic duty, the need for a vigorous defense even if the attorney knows his client is guilty. I wouldn't be able to lie and exaggerate and feel good about my participation in this process.
I needed to examine myself and what my answers to their questions would be. I've heard horror stories and rape details over the years. I've shared horrific details of my own story. If I cried while the victim testified, so be it. I could hear the details. I decided I wanted answers to 4 short questions. I wanted to know if media was allowed in the courtroom during jury selection, if jury selection becomes a part of public records that is available to the media, if the media would be allowed in during the trial, and if sidebars become part of the public records available to the public. I had to decide what I was willing to talk about in a public forum, and what I was going to request a sidebar for. I can talk in a public forum generally about my history. I want a sidebar for who in my life was convicted of a crime, of who was a sexual assault victim, and what happened, of details about my history.
I believe that prosecutor, defense, judge, jurors all do their part, and I leave the rest to my Higher Power. If I was an attorney, and a judge assigned me to do either prosecution or defense, I could do it whether the person was guilty or not. Doesn't mean that if I was defending a guilty person I wouldn't be agonizing over it. I would separate it from my duty as defense attorney.
My husband took me out to dinner and for a long walk on the beach. I found peace again. I enjoyed the weekend. We bicycled on the beach strand Sunday. Life was good.
Monday I faced the jury selection process with mostly calm. I used a short meditation I'd used when my husband was in court often cuz of or against his ex - Breathe in meditating on the word peace, breathe out the fear. I remained fairly calm as thruout the entire day there were 4 more rounds of people dismissed, called up, grilled, dismissed...The person to each side of me was called up, the person behind me, the person I'd walked in with the very first day...until there were only a dozen of us left at 4pm. A woman shared she'd been a juror in a rape trial and answered the prosecutor's question, "It was horrible - the details about the rape, but especially the media hounding us." She was dismissed. I had been praying, "Please God, if I don't have to go thru this, I don't want to."
At the end of the day they abruptly accepted the 18 up before the judge, then whittled those down to 12 jurors and 2 alternates. I was free.
I walked out of there glad to be alive and so grateful for life as it is these days.
I arrived home and pulled out the paper. It's an unusual rape case.
'98 a woman was sleeping in her own apt behind her apt's individual heavy security doors. She was on her couch, her one year old nearby. She woke up to a man on top of her. She was terrified. She played dead. She didn't look at him. Her baby awoke. The man soothed the baby asleep, then finished raping the woman, coming on her leg.
The case was going nowhere. No leads.
Until the sister heard her live in boyfriend be interviewed by police, and things sounded fishy.
Police still couldn't come up with enuf evidence to arrest him.
The sister called the da and asked, "What if I bring you his semen?" DA said, "I can't have anything to do with that. You're on your own."
She marched the washcloth in to the police station.
Year 2000 they've been arguing in court, "Who does the semen belong to? The man, or woman." The decision was consensual sex, the semen now on her body is hers to deliver to the police if she wants to.
He's now facing judge and jury.
"If you have a sexual abuse history, they CANNOT require you to sit the trial. We have gotten off jury duty in three different states, as it is a fed statue thing - will see if we can find the documentation we used, even tho it is too late now."
07/18/2001
On today's frontpage of newspaper, I'm paraphrasing:
Defense attorney in opening statements insinsuated her client had been having an affair with the defendant, and that defendant's girlfriend already suspected he was seeing someone else. Defense attorney asked how an assailant could have broken in the apt and committed a rape without waking anyone else at the home. Attorney questioned emergency doc about whether injuries could have been caused during rough sexual activity.
DA said a year's testing of the washcloth with semen brought in by the sister matched that of the assailant. Tests on his saliva proved him to be the only person in a population equal to that on Earth times "10 million and one" whose DNA could match.
Victim tearfully described awakening to find a man on top of her, pushing her face in to a pillow so she could not see him. The woman stopped a few times to compose herself as she went on to say she was terrified the assailant would kill her and her 1 year old son asleep on a futon next to her. Her three other children, a young cousin and the cousin's baby sister were asleep in bedrooms. She heard the man run out a door, down the stairs, and heard a car start.
Some jurors appeared shaken as the victim's emotional 911 call echoed thru the courtroom.
DA emphasized assailant had access to livein girlfriend's copy of victim's apt key.
Victim did not know her sister delivered semen to the police. Victim had become suspicious when she heard her mother get in to his Toyota Camry and start it. The sound was similar to what she heard the night she was attacked. It creeped her out and gave her chills.
Defense attny told jurors she plans to present evidence indicating DNA belonging to unidentified person was also found in victim's body. DA later told Judge there is no such evidence.
Defense attny questioned victim about red spots on her face and eyeballs, an indication of tiny hemorrhages that occur during strangulation. Emergency doc did not notice those. Victim said they showed up later.
The trial is expected to last seven to 10 days.
07/26/2001
Today's paper paraphrased.
29yo victim hugged her sister, criminal didn't react to the verdict, he will be automatically sentenced to 25 years to life in prison under state's tough "one-strike" law for rape.
07/19/2001
I became the alternate juror.
The case was stalking and criminal threats.
He was African American. She was from Mexico. During their marriage, he wouldn't pay for her to become legal. She worked illegally, paid half the bills and eventually was able to pay for her papers. She started going to school, and continued to work. Eventually she was able to buy herself a car - he wouldn't help her with that financially.
The couple separated '98. She kept the 2 boys, didn't ask for child support, and always handed over 1/2 her income tax refund as he demanded. The father had free access to his kids.
She didn't get the divorce, or start dating for 2 years, knowing her ex would flip. Her ex, however, was dating.
She began dating 12/99. Her ex flipped.
The ex walked up to her date when he was relaxing with a co-worker after the date. The ex threatened the man's life.
The ex drove to the man's place of work and threatened his life again, in front of another co-worker.
The ex called the woman on her cell phone while she was on a date and told her I'm going to kill you and your date.
The date ended the relationship and left the area not wishing to risk death or his business reputation by being involved at all with an angry ex.
The ex repeatedly threatened to kill the woman and anyone she dated. The ex threatened to inject her with aids, to plant drugs in her car or apt and have her put in jail, to call social services and have the kids taken from her, and to throw acid in to the faces of her parents in Mexico.
At one point he covered something with a windbreaker, took it out of his car, and pointed it at the woman. She thought it was a gun.
He was at her home after 10pm spying on her often, calling her often making threats.
Their 13yo son picked up the phone and heard his father say to his mother, "I'm going to kill you and any man you're with."
The woman got a restraining order. After he was served, he was seen by the woman and 2 relatives at her car while wearing gloves. They confronted him, "Why are you here?" He said, "I'm here to kill you." He ran off when she called the police.
3 black men were outside the apt. The 13yo son got nervous, and called his father. The father said, "They must be looking for your uncle."
Several days later 2 black men were waiting for the woman's brother as he returned after dropping off the kids at school, to beat him black and blue. He was hospitalized. The men hadn't said any words, or tried to steal anything.
The woman got wind of her ex having been in her home, seen by his kids leaning over the couch wearing gloves. The woman searched her couch, and found crack cocaine in a baggy. She flushed it down the toilet.
The man did not threaten his children and was careful to not let the kids witness his threats to their mother, so the woman didn't get a restraining order protecting her children from him. However, once the detective was putting the case together for court, and realized the trouble surrounding the children, he called child protective services. They told her she had to get a new restraining order that would also keep the father away from the kids. She had to file a modification to the divorce papers she'd already filed and he'd signed that included joint custody. CPS said she had to file the 2nd restraining order, and file for sole custody, or CPS would take the kids from her.
In court defense tried to say it was a vindictive woman and family members in a conspiracy trying to get sole custody. Defense said he'd never been served with the restraining order. His adult niece, his roommate, had to testify that she had indeed served her uncle with the restraining order. His 13yo son had to testify about what he'd heard his father say on the phone to his mother. The woman, her brother and sister-in-law, her 13yo son, the detective and the woman's former dating relationship all testified. The woman's former date had refused to come and testify, and was only there cuz of the subpoena. They were all very credible and honest.
Defense attorney did the best he could with what he had - dramatizing small errors. The defendant didn't testify.
I was the only alternate as the 2nd alternate's car had broken down. I had to wait alone while the 12 jurors deliberated for the last hour yesterday, and for the morning today. They returned with a unanimous guilty on all 3 counts. They asked me if I was surprised by the verdict. I said no. They asked me if I would have voted the same way. I said yes.
The 2 criminal threat counts are 2 strikes against him for any future crimes he commits.
Sentencing will be 2-4 years in prison. He has been in jail since being arrested early Feb.
Defendant stoically gritted his teeth in anger at the verdict. The woman was not present in court.
Judge said, "I usually ask it this way, Is there anyone who doesn't want the jury records, including your names and addresses, sealed?" We all said no.
The judge thanked us at length and asked that, if we're willing, to return to the deliberation room to fill out a survey about our experience as jurors, and fill out name and address if we wanted a thank you letter from the judge. Then he invited us to his chambers to chat.
Afterwards the DA met us in the hallway to chat. The DA had been very nervous about 1 juror's scowl the entire time. The juror explained that was his deadpan face, that he was "with" the DA the entire time. The DA said 1 juror had been so helpful nodding at times. The juror hadn't realized she'd been doing that. We let him know that tho it was regrettable that the 13yo son had to testify, his testimony was too important to have left out. We assured the DA that his witnesses were very credible, his closing argument was excellent, he'd never bored us. We admitted the defense attorney bored and appalled us with his flaming denounciations of the woman and her family - he also often got names or relationships incorrect.
The DA had not yet been able to reach the woman to let her know about the verdict.
I met and got to know the other jurors - a wide variety of people and experiences. A remarkable experience of civic duty.
