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A Healthy Family

How different it is to be with a nurturing family. Immediately, I can sense the aliveness, the genuineness, honesty, and love. I feel the heart and soul present as well as the head.

I feel that if I lived in such a family, I would be listened to and would be interested in listening to others, I would be considered and would wish to consider others, I could openly show my affection as well as my pain and disapproval, I wouldn't be afraid to take risks because everyone in my family would realize that some mistakes are bound to come with my risk-taking --- that my mistakes are a sign that I am growing. I would feel like a person in my own right --- noticed, valued, loved, and clearly asked to notice, value, and love others.

One can actually see and hear the vitality in such a family. The bodies are graceful, the facial expressions relaxed. People look at one another, not through one another or at the floor, and they speak in rich, clear voices. There is a flow and harmony in their relations with one another.

Members of a nurturing family feel free to tell each other how they feel. Anything can be talked about --- the disappointments, fears, hurts, angers, criticisms as well as the joys and achievements...

Nurturing families show evidence of planning, but if something interferes with the plan, they can readily make adjustments. This way they are able to handle more of life's problems without panicking...

In a nurturing family it is easy to pick up the message that human life and human feelings are more important than anything else. These parents see themselves as leaders, not bosses, and they see their job as primarily one of teaching their child how to be truly human in all situations.

Virginia Satir

 

My Declaration of Self-Esteem

I AM ME
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I and I alone chose it - I own everyting about me my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts - I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me - however I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be pro-ductive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me - I own me, and therefore I can engineer me - I am me and I AM OKAY

Virginia Satir

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