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| May 3, 1997 Dear Miss Miller, Thank you so much for your letter. I am very pleased to hear that you were so moved by Malice and that you found solace and inspiration from it. It was a challenging and wrenching book to write. I took a lot of risks in tackling this novel, and I am very glad to hear such kind words from a reader who understands all too well what it was about. More than kind words, it means so much to me to know that the book rang true to you. Hearing that this book moved you -- a woman who has been through so much with so much courage and compassion -- makes me feel it is a success. Thank you so much again for your letter. I hope you are very well. Dannielle Steel
Then I read her latest novel and wrote her again: April 18, 1998 Ms. Steel, You wrote me 5/3/97 about my letter regarding Malice where I shared with you that I am an incest survivor, and that the heroine in Malice was someone I could absorb into my being. I just finished reading The Long Road Home. What a roller coaster. I kept hoping for better times for Gabriella, and instead a new horror would come about. Gabriella is also a heroine I can absorb into my being. I am so deeply moved by how you resolved the story (***don't want to give it away***). It helped that answer sink deeper into my soul. I’ll be sharing with other survivors that, tho it’s very difficult reading, it is well worth it. People have been shaking their heads at me and saying, "Cheryl, your life...!" Yep, it’s mine. And people probably shake their heads about the likelihood of a Gabriella... I heard and then read about your son. I wish there were words to change history and bring him back, words to comfort you deeply. You and your son have been in my thoughts. I have been meaning to write about my reading both your books on my survivors’ pages. Will be doing that. In the meantime, TCOMFing. Cheryl Moore Barron Miller |
 "Dissatisfied daughters sometimes have an inflated sense of entitlement, a
belief that the world owes them." "I believe the dissatisfied daughter's motive
is an intense, unconscious need to connect with her mother, regardless of the tenor of
that connection. She may not approve of her mother, appreciate her, or treat her with
respect, but she needs frequent contact with Mom the same way a baby needs the
breast." "...your daughter's displeasure with you is very likely a projection of her displeasure with herself. She is not content, and she doesn't want you to be content either. She doesn't feel happy or adequate, so she'd like you to feel unhappy and inadequate too." "If a dissatisfied daughter is intolerant, fastidious, and dresses like a nun, she may desire Mom to do the same. If her mother is relatively content, easygoing, and dresses flamboyantly, the daughter will chafe at the disparity between them. The most infuriating difference, from the daughter's perspective, is her mother's sense of well-being. Dissatisfied daughters can be intensely envious of their mothers..." "Some daughters distance themselves from their mothers as punishment for a betrayal or abusse they claim occurred during their youth...there are many other moms who tried their best to raise a family -- often in difficult circumstances -- only to have a daughter angrily announce that her childhood was abysmal and she has no more use for her parents." "When there are three siblings and only one is irritable, Mom can assume that since everyone else turned out okay, she must have been doing something right." "When does the relationship between mother and daughter turn from dissatisfied to distant? As soon as Mom refuses to take it anymore. Typically the crisis occurs after mother or daughter has gone to a therapist or joined some sort of support group." "Mothers of distant daughters ... come to me seeking solace, but I'm usually able to offer more: the very reasonable expectation that their daughter will someday return. In the great majority of cases, the distant daughter does eventually reconcile with her parents. . Her change of heart is often set off by a life event such as a death, birth, or the serious illness of a relative, but sometimes it's just a matter of enough time having passed."
Speak" |
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