Don't Make a Redheaded Nurse Mad

A big shot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. 

The redheaded nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature.

"After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer.

"This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.  After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!" She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.

After almost an hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation."

What did Raggedy Ann say to Pinnochio in the toy box?

Tell the truth, tell a lie, tell the truth, tell a lie...

Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

An accountant decided to leave his redheaded wife. He left her a note saying: "Dear Jane, I am 54 years old and I have never done  anything wild. So I'm leaving you for an 18 year old blonde model. We'll be staying at the Sheraton." 

He then packed his things and went there. When he arrived at the Sheraton, there was a message for him from his wife. It read: "Dear John. I too am 54 years old. I have followed your example and am staying at the Hyatt with an 18 year old Italian hunk. And I'm sure that you, as an accountant, will appreciate that 18 goes into 54  many, many more times than 54 goes into 18."