A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, where as women use 30,000 words a day.  She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

Looking stunned, he said, "What?

Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.

The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.

The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.

Number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."

After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera. It's to my parents' house in Philadelphia for two weeks."

 The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes. He bought me a Honda."

"Well," the third one says, "I also have a confession to make. Canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!"