A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.  Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see ME for two or three days?"

He replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.  But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

Three ladies all have separate boyfriends named Leroy.

One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar,  one of the ladies suggests, "Let's name our Leroy's after  a

soda pop, because I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed  up with your Leroy, and her Leroy mixed up with  your Leroy."

The other two ladies agree.

The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name my Leroy 7-Up because he has 7 inches and it's always  up!" 

The three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other high five's. 

Then, the second lady says, "I'm gonna name my Leroy  Mountain Dew ... because he can mount and do me any day of the week."

Again, the three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other more high five's.

The third lady then says, "You know, those two Leroy's were good, but I'm gonna name my Leroy, Jack  Daniels." 

The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels?

That's not a soda pop ... that's a hard liquor!"

The third lady bursts out, "That's my Leroy!"