This just in: Completely Bare (212-717-9300).has introduced a new service for girls who just can't stop expressing themselves -- bikini graffiti. If stripping it all off leaves you feeling a bit, um, naked, Completely Bare will restore some modesty with well-placed words or designs applied in temporary ink that will last two to five days. How 'bout, "You must be this tall to go on this ride."

"How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?

There's a hammer embedded in the monitor.

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive my Vette over there to visit?"  The genie laughed , "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete-how much steel!  And the maintenance of that bridge! No - think of another wish." 

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I'm married to a redhead. So, I wish that I could under-stand her ...... know how she feels inside and what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment...... know  what she really wants when she says 'nothing'...know how to make her truly happy......I want to know how she can be so damn sexy one second and be the devils daughter, the next. I really want to under-stand her and how she thinks!" The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"