9/14/2000 Dh's attny said ortho treatment will be transferred, if she
pays no bills at home her "income" will reflect that on the
dissomaster, he's sending her a letter w/dh's latest paystubs, telling
her the court date will not be changed, and if she sends her financial
the day before court he won't complain about her not having done it
before.
9/19/2000 Bm responded w/paystubs showing $9.75 an hr, @$20K a
year. She requested child support orders be cancelled, and dh pay
$500 a month towards arrears. I think she thought she'd end up
paying dh and couldn't stand the embarrassment of a wage assignment. In
truth dh would have had to pay her $78 a month.
Her response
insisted she gets ss 24% instead of 22% of the year. We would have
gone along with 24%, and dh would have been paying her $36 a month.
In truth, she refuses to pick up ss Fri nights at 6pm as she is entitled
to. I suspect it's for the same reason she refused to take ss to
the airport Fri nights as she was ordered to by the court when she had
custody and we lived in Vegas. She said they (bm, ss, and her
parents) must sit down to
5:30pm dinner every night, he could not have fast food in order
to get to the airport.
She actually gets ss less than 22% of the year as stated in
the court order because of her not picking him up Friday nights.
Bm told judge dh should have to pay her support to the current
date. Judge said a little impatiently, "Do you agree with me
that (ss)'s been living with his dad since 9/15/99?" She replied
yes. Judge said, "Then why would he have to pay you support
since then?" Bm said cuz dh didn't file a timely
modification. She said dh can afford the $500, and that I receive
child support for my 2 kids. Our attny pointed out I'm not
receiving support.
Funny, bm doesn't offer that her parents paid
all her bills since '86. Now her financial shows she pays a
whopping $200 a month rent and she pays other bills of her own.
Our attny pointed out dh is bearing the bulk of
supporting their son. Bm's parents snickered from the audience.
Bm
tells the judge, "I buy him shoes, he doesn't."
Yes, we don't buy him
shoes (or other things) when bm demands we do so, and we don't feel he needs
the stuff.
Yes, we refused to pay the $1837 in 6 years of uncovered medical bills she
finally sent dh
in '96 (she'd been withholding info of ss's doctors/dentists). We paid all unpaid medical since then. Yes, she's paying for
ortho and wisdom teeth removal. It was more important to her to be in
control and be able to manipulate those situations for her own agenda than
to care about ss's best interests or for my insurance to pay for stuff like that.
And what else was dh's child support payment of $682 a month to bm doing
other than supporting ss while bm was unemployed for most of those
years, her parents paying all her bills, then she worked part-time for 4 years, finally working full-time since
'99?
Judge asked her, "You want child support orders
cancelled?" Bm said, "Yes, I don't have custody." I
think the judge was just as puzzled as we were with her logic. I
think it really was about saving face at work - she was so afraid of a
wage assignment.
Dh offered to pay $200 a month towards arrears.
Bm insisted ss finish ortho at UCLA, said ss was angry w/dad for not
taking him to UCLA (our attny jumped on that, "Evidentiary)...our
attny pointed out that UCLA orthos and new ortho all agreed transferring
would be fine. Judge asks, "So a transfer would be
easy?" Our attny responds yes. Bm argues that she worries that dh
will not take ss to appts, that dh will not pay the orthodontist.
Support was suspended retroactive to 9/15/99. Any
child support to bm was cancelled effective the filing date in August of
this court date. Dh is in charge of orthodontic treatment.
Dh pays $350 a month starting 10/15/2000 towards arrears. Bm and
her parents were shocked and angered that she didn't get what they
thought was logical. They stormed out of the courtroom.
Bm kept trying to shock the judge saying arrears were @$23K. Dh
and his attorney didn't point out that arrears would go down if the
judge ruled in our favor. With retroactive and payments since
custody change applied, arrears should be @ $13K.
Bm kept trying to shock the judge saying dh owed her $5,000 in
medical. The judge looked at the paperwork quickly, looked at bm
and asked, "I don't see that that's being addressed here
today." Her statement was incorrect. She was retreating
to her attempt to have dh pay all of the medical insurance premiums she
paid when she did have medical insurance for about a year some years
ago.
I asked ss about his being angry with his dad, "Well, yes.
I wanted to get another appt so I didn't have to wear my retainer during
the day at school." I didn't belabor the point. I didn't ask
him, "Why didn't you talk to your dad about it?!?"
Concerned Stepmom
"She" can be one too!
When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're
behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of "her"
deadbeat mentality also.
