Men are not the only

Bm had demanded a long list of additions to the visitation order once custody was changed summer '99, including a list of how we are going to be responsible for ss's cat.  We agreed to all of them except ss to continue treatment at UCLA, which would be a 1 1/2 hr one way trip during school each month.  Bm declined to respond for a couple of months. Our attorney had the judge file the new visitation order without her signature.

I took ss to his ortho appts, expecting the issue to be resolved once his braces came off. When I had the opportunity, I spoke privately to the ortho and her supervisor asking if they thought it was ok that he transfer to our orthodontist once his braces came off. They were fine about that.

His braces came off. Dh wrote bm that ss's UCLA orthodontists agreed it would be fine for ss to transfer to our ortho once his braces came off. Bm wrote a general letter to all our local orthos telling them they weren't allowed to treat ss.  She said that the orthodontic records belong only to her.

Our attorney wasn't returning our phone calls or letters, and dh responded assertively to her next letter. 

Bm tells ss over the phone that she's going to pick him up at school for the appt.  He tells us.  I speak to the school, who ask for a copy of the custody order and mark his emergency card that if bm comes in, they are not allowed to let her take ss.  

By the time our attorney was involved, he said to be safe, we needed to play nice, go to another few appts until ss's retainer was in, and the judge would see that we were working hard to cooperate.  Our attny called bm, who wasn't home, and bm's father agreed a few more appts until the retainer would be fine.

3 more appts (UCLA only allows 1/2 hr appts, hence the need for more appts than if he was seen at our local ortho) and now ss was fitted with his retainer. 

Grandma began to arrange the next appt. As I'd arranged prior to the appt, I whispered to ss to go wait for me out on on the bench.  I nicely walked up to grandma and said, "He won't be coming back." She said, "What?" I leaned near her ear so she could hear me, "He won't be coming back." Grandma blew up yelling at me as I left the office, and as ss and I left.

Bm refused to cooperate. We refused to take him to UCLA during school again.  Our attorney agreed we didn't have to take him.  I double check with the school that they realize bm can't take ss out of school.  If she showed up, she'd be told to leave, then we'd be called. If they needed to, they would call their DARE officer to escort her off the grounds, then call us.  I reassured ss without the details that he would not be called to the office and be part of a scene.

Our attorney's personal difficulties caused more delay in getting to court.

Ss has to wear his retainer 24/7. My girls, with a more experienced ortho, have a minor surgery after braces come off to allow them to only wear their retainer at night.

Summer 2000 ss goes to mom's for 5 weeks of summer. Dh calls on Friday, the day before he's to pick up ss, who says, "Did you know I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday?" No. Ss tentatively asks if he can stay another day to recover. Dh thinks grandma is in the background telling ss what to say.  Dh says yes. Bm calls that night. Ss had his surgery at UCLA, and it requires another trip to UCLA for the follow-up visit. Dh happens to be off that day and will take him.

UCLA had said ss needed his wisdom teeth out "some day."

Bm was served the day before the surgery about the orthodontic issue. Court is 9/19/2000. 

Concerned stepmom

ps. A week into school my daughter had oral surgery to expose a tooth that wouldn't come out. Ss says, "I heard that if you wait too long to have your wisdom teeth taken out it takes 6 months to recover."  I said with a little impatience, "Who told you that?" Ss mumbles a little, "My grandmother.  So I guess that could be a fabrication?"  I said, "I had my wisdom teeth taken out in adulthood. It doesn't take 6 months to recover."