'93 Dh saw his son maybe 3xs a year. He was in CA, stopped by bm's home
to see son with Xmas presents. She took the presents. She wouldn't
let dh talk to his son who is inside the home.
'95 xmas visitation bm had "squired" ss
out of state to avoid dh's visitation. Police left a message on
her machine. Many phone calls, messages on the answering machine,
letters, went unanswered for weeks. In desperation dh wrote ss's
elementary principal about bm's bipolar condition, her arrest years
ago, about the current difficulty reaching his son, and his fears
about his son's safety. The principal wrote a letter reassuring dh his
son was fine, and shared both letters with bm.
'96 bm tried to make that letter an issue in
court. Judge ignored her claim of slander.
'99 evaluator interviewed ss's 3-5th grade
teacher and the private school principal from that period.
Bm expected
both to extol her virtues, and to confirm her version that ss's visits
with dh upset ss and caused poor grades. Instead they spoke of
rarely seeing bm, often seeing grandparents, ss walking away from bm
whenever she was around, how happy ss was to visit his dad, and shared
about the huge improvement reflected in his grades and social skills
once visitation had been improved in 4th grade.
Bm also expected boy scout leader to extoll her
virtues. Instead he spoke of bm whisking ss away after meetings, then
calling late at night after the meetings with questions. One time ss
was due to see his father for a week. Someone had torn pages out of ss's
advancement book. The boy scout leader assured her he would sign off on
the work anyway, but that didn't relieve bm who was concerned that ss's
visit with his father would delay his achievement.
She told ss he couldn't live with his dad cuz of
his boy scouts.
She'd ground ss from the computer his dad had
bought him. It was something he had in common with his dad that
she was trying to squash.
Age 5 - 10, before visitation was improved, they also made ss call
his maternal grandfather dad. Once visitation was improved, dh would gently
correct him. It didn't take long.
Once dh got custody of his son, ss's natural
abilities grew tremendously. He now programs in 5 languages, owns his
own laptop, 2 computers in his room to experiment with different
platforms, and at 14 years
old he interned as a programmer at the dot.com his dad works at.
Concerned Stepmom
"She" can be one too!
When you look at the deadbeat sites, ask yourself if you're
behaving like a deadbeat, and remember that men are victims of "her"
deadbeat mentality also.
Whether you are a custodial parent, a non-custodial parent, a
first wife, a second wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, ask yourself if you're behaving in
the best interest of the child.
